


How Eames (almost accidentally) Stole Christmas

by sarahyyy



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Christmas, M/M, dumb boys in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahyyy/pseuds/sarahyyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He’s clearly interested in it,” Yusuf concedes. </p><p>“Clearly,” Eames echoes. </p><p>“But he’s secretive about it,” Yusuf continues. </p><p>Eames nods. </p><p>“Maybe he’s got another boyfriend tuck in some remote corner of the world and he was trying to procure it for him?” Yusuf suggests.</p><p>Eames gives him a look. “Don’t be daft.”</p><p>“I’m just saying,” Yusuf says with a shrug. “Arthur is extremely good-looking. If I were that good-looking, I definitely wouldn’t settle for you.”</p><p>Or, how Eames should learn how to get better Christmas presents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Eames (almost accidentally) Stole Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This is for voidcollar, who wanted Arthur/Eames on Christmas. :D It's not exactly what you asked for, but I hope you like it anyway, bb!

“Arthur is mad at me,” Eames says as soon as line goes through. 

Cobb lets out a sigh. “And what’s that got to do with me?”

Eames rolls his eyes before belatedly realizing that Cobb cannot see him. “Do you really want me to tell him who stole his gun last Christmas?”

“You can prove nothing,” Cobb sniffs. 

“I have a video recording of you sneaking into his study and stealing the gun, Cobb. We authenticated the video,” Eames reminds him for what must be the billionth time since last year.

“Ariadne dared me to!” Cobb yells. “I mean, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cobb,” Eames grits out. Normally blackmailing Cobb into doing things for him is one of Eames’ favourite things to do, and he would often drag the whole process out because it’s fun to see Cobb groan and frown and try to talk his way out, but he really doesn’t have the patience for it right now, not when it feels like his relationship is hanging on the line, so much so that he has to come to Cobb, _dead-wife-in-limbo Cobb_ , for relationship advice.

Cobb sighs in resignation. “Do you know why he’s upset at you?”

“Not a clue,” Eames says, and it doesn’t happen very often, but he’s being very honest with Cobb here. 

“Did anything out of the ordinary happen yesterday?” Cobb continues. “Did you do something?”

“Well, I gave him his Christmas present yesterday,” Eames tells him. “It was too cumbersome to try to hide it from him for another two days, so I figured I would just give it to him early. It’s probably not it though.”

Cobb doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then, he asks, “What did you give him?”

Eames tells him.

Cobb hangs up.

\--

“Ariadne,” Eames says with a grin when Ariadne finally shows up at her apartment. 

She blinks at him. “Eames? What are you doing here? Did I forget that you were supposed to be coming? Because if so, I’m sorry but finals were killing and I’ve been so busy and—”

Eames waves her spiel off. “I’m here to ask for help,” he says. “It’s about Arthur.”

Ariadne squints at him. She really needs to stop hanging out with Cobb. 

“You really need to stop hanging out with Cobb,” Eames says. “Your eyes are getting really squinty.”

Ariadne rolls her eyes. “What happened with Arthur?”

“He’s upset at me,” Eames tells her, and wow, even just saying it out loud makes his heart clench in the worst ways. “I didn’t think so until I talked to Cobb, but it’s probably got something to do with the Christmas present I got him.”

Ariadne snorts a laugh at that. “Did you get him a gift card too? Because that’s a horrible present to get anyone, Eames, I told you that last Christmas.”

“You’re still getting a gift card this year.” Eames is lying. He’s got Ariadne’s present wrapped and tucked under the tree for when everyone is supposed to go to his and Arthur’s house Christmas morning to open their presents.

“You’re a horrible person and you deserve to have Arthur upset at you,” Ariadne sniffs. 

“You don’t mean that.”

“I don’t,” Ariadne agrees with a grin. “So, what did you get Arthur to make him so upset?”

Eames tells her.

Ariadne walks out of her apartment.

\--

Arthur is not visibly angry. 

This is a problem because Eames normally knows why Arthur is upset at him when he’s being visibly angry. Arthur being visibly angry helps to direct Eames into apologizing and making amends, and nine out of ten times it leads to mind-blowing make up sex.

This is a thing about Arthur: Arthur is most upset when he doesn’t appear to be upset. He’s got an ace poker face and regularly employs it when he’s trying to not make a big deal out of him being upset at Eames. 

But this _is_ a big deal. This is their first Christmas together as a couple, and Eames isn’t about to sweep whatever problems they have under the carpet and pretend it doesn’t exist because Arthur deserves better than that. 

There is a problem, and Eames is going to find out what it is, and then he’s going to fix this.

\--

“You could just ask him,” Yusuf suggests when they meet up for tea the next afternoon. 

“I could,” Eames agrees, “but this feels different. Important. It feels like something I need to work out on my own.”

Yusuf peers at him over his cup of tea. “I feel like I’m talking to an alternate version of you. Did you hit your head on anything? Do you have a concussion?”

Eames scowls at him. “Be serious.”

“ _Be serious_ ,” Yusuf mimics and laughs. “I had completely given up hope on it ever happening, but congratulations, my friend, you’ve grown up. Arthur is obviously good for you.”

“He is,” Eames agrees. A smile tugs on the corner of his lips. “He is very good for me.”

Yusuf stares at Eames for a moment, almost pensive, before he says, “Alright, let’s go through it again. You’re sure you got Arthur the correct present.”

Eames nods. “It can’t be wrong. He’s been researching it.”

“Could it be for a job?” Yusuf asks. 

“Not even remotely possible,” Eames says. “We agreed not to take separate jobs after I got shot on the Beckett job earlier this year.” At Yusuf smirk, Eames sighs. “It’s practical.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Yusuf says.

“Anyway, he’s been mucking about on his Mac reading about it, he’s got pamphlets on it— I saw him burn them when he thought I wasn’t looking.” Eames snorts. “He never believes when I tell him that I’m _always_ looking.”

“He’s clearly interested in it,” Yusuf concedes. 

“Clearly,” Eames echoes. 

“But he’s secretive about it,” Yusuf continues. 

Eames nods. 

“Maybe he’s got another boyfriend tuck in some remote corner of the world and he was trying to procure it for him?” Yusuf guesses.

Eames gives him a look. “Don’t be daft.”

“I’m just saying,” Yusuf says with a shrug. “Arthur is extremely good-looking. If I were that good-looking, I definitely wouldn’t settle for you.”

“You are not helpful at all,” Eames tells Yusuf with a scowl. “You’re a horrible friend.”

Yusuf laughs. “I’m your favourite friend.”

Eames shakes his head and sips his tea. 

“But seriously, though,” Yusuf says, “he mightn’t have wanted it for himself. He might have wanted to get it for someone else, and now that you’ve given it to him, he has to rethink present options, which is a hassle. I’d be upset at you too.” 

Eames frowns. “But who could he be getting it f— Oh.” Eames blinks as the facts come together in his head. “ _Oh_.” He draws a sharp breath. He is the stupidest person in the entire world. “Bloody hell, _oh_.”

“I am very helpful,” Yusuf tells him, smug. “You just never believe me when I say it.”

\--

The moment Arthur walks through the door, Eames strides towards him and kisses him hard. 

“ _Arthur_ ,” he breathes. “You were going to steal a seventy-seven million dollar painting for me.”

And Arthur, Arthur who has been stewing in silent frustration since Eames gave him his present, quirks a smile in spite of everything, and Eames’ heart grows three sizes just looking at him. 

“You finally figured it out, haven’t you?” Arthur says.

“But you _hate_ stealing,” Eames says, “especially when you have to steal from a museum. You always make me do the stealing.”

Arthur shrugs. “I wanted to do something special for you.”

“Fuck,” Eames curses. “So did I. And then I saw you looking it up, and I thought you wanted it.”

“I did,” Arthur says. “I wanted it for you.”

“Arthur,” Eames says, and then kisses him again because words are getting hard to express, not when Arthur is looking at him with fond exasperation. “I’m sorry for stealing your present.”

“You should be,” Arthur tells him. “I visited the museum every day and drew floor plans from scratch.”

Eames bought the blueprints off a corrupt security guard. “Fuck.”

“It was going to be a master heist,” Arthur continues, almost petulant now. “No-one was even going to know that it was missing. Then you swooped in and just took it, and now it’s on every paper.”

“This is horrible,” Eames groans. “I really messed things up. Every time I look at this bloody painting, I’m going to remember how I made our first Christmas together awful.”

Arthur’s face softens at that. “I think I know how we can fix it,” he says. 

\--

“A little more to the left,” Eames says. “Wait, no, that’s too much to the left.”

Arthur turns around to glare at Eames. 

“Sorry,” Eames says sheepishly. “Do it how you like, love.”

Arthur moves it a little more to the right —Eames grins at that because that’s exactly where it should be— and stands back to stare at the painting hanging on exact spot on the wall Eames had stolen it from. Well, at least the museum’s going to have a very happy Christmas. 

Eames moves closer to him, wraps his arms around Arthur’s waist and tucks his chin on Arthur’s shoulder. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

Arthur snorts. “It’s anything but,” he says wryly. “It’s called The Gross Clinic for a reason, Eames.”

“Hush, darling,” Eames says, grinning, “you’re ruining the moment.”

Arthur turns slightly to give him an unimpressed look. “You almost ruined Christmas.”

Eames pouts. “Are you ever going to forgive me for that?” 

Arthur laughs. “Never.”

“I suppose I’m just going to have to try very hard to convince you to change your mind,” Eames says, and then starts about doing that by pulling Arthur in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [here](http://sarah-yyy.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr! Come say hi!


End file.
